Friday, December 24, 2010

Quod Non Necat Fortior Facit

I feel awful that I don't blog more frequently. I get these great ideas on things I should write about when I'm in the car, in the shower, sitting at the airport, etc. but I can't quite ever sit down and put pen to paper (err fingers to keyboard, I mean). My friend Katrina operates at least two blogs (that I know of) and between being a wife, work, and having a toddler running around, she still manages to find the time....No excuse, Chappy! So, looking back at my last post....in AUGUST, I realized it was about time to at least update this thing.

First things first: Mom, don't take offense to that last post. None of us would be honest with ourselves if we didn't at least acknowledge that there was some form of dysfunction in each of our upbringings (you included). August was one of those moments when I just happened to feel the pang of a maladjusted situation on an acute level. You should know me well enough by now to know that I'm nothing if not passionate about nearly everything in my life-some see such passion and excitability as exhausting; Its all I know, and for better or worse, its who I am. I love you.

Moving on...As I wrote a couple months ago, the inevitable has now happened: I got the promotion and will be on my way back to Atlanta 1 week from today. Becuase I've known about the likelihood of having to move since April, I've had a bit of time to adjust to the notion. Unfortunately, though, while time may heal all wounds, the pain and reality of having to leave New Orleans is still very much just beneath the surface of my stressed-out exterior. I very much love my job and my client, though, and the ability to finally move my career forward made the decision a no-brainer. So, it is with tears streaming down my cheeks and a heavy heart that I now pack up my belongings (something I SHOULD be doing now instead of blogging....).

I always knew I'd live here one day. When I was a kid, I had to do a report on a state and its capital and I chose Louisiana and Baton Rouge. I was a visionary even as a wee child! Now that I am faced w/the impending move, I've had a long time to contemplate the reasons why I love this city and state so much and I've come up with quite a comprehensive list. Here goes: The warm hospitality of the people; The delectable-ness of the cuisine; The sweeping understanding that booze and entertainment on every level is something to be taxed-the-hell out of rather than banned; The beautiful architecture that rises from nearly every corner of the Uptown and CBD; The lively, dulcet tones coming from the bands pouring into the streets from the bars and clubs; The weather and soft ocean breezes that roll in when a front is passing through; The feeling that I'm surrounded by history when I walk into the shops and down the streets; Its a sportsman's paradise!; The timeless, unchanging culture and philosophies of the inhabitants who's families have lived here for generations upon generations.

Now, the above is by no means an exhaustive list. It merely represents some of the quasi-tangible things I love about my city. The biggest revelation I had concerning my attachment was made in October when Jennifer came to visit. Jenny is one of the best people I know and I am so lucky to have her in my world. She is the kind of person that simply will not let me hide from myself, which, in all honesty, makes me a bit anxious. Such inability to hide makes me a better person, though. She's always there to listen and comfort, but she will most definitely call me out if I'm being an idiot- - -I love her for everything she is.

In our multiple conversations, Jennifer helped me to realize that New Orleans represented a new birth for me, an entirely new life separated from everything I'd ever known. Most people experience the newness of living on their own in their 20's. In my twenties, I was married and there was absolutely no separation or even a small amount of breathing room until we broke up for good in April 2008. In New Orleans, I had to learn how to be completely self sufficient, balance a check book, open my own jars (which I still can't do), make small repairs to household things (I still have a difficult time changing light bulbs), feed/clothe/shelter myself, and just in general grow up. I became the person that I am today because of New Orleans and for that, I will forever be grateful.

Rather than go on ad nauseum, I'll stop here. The epiphany has been had and its now time to begin a new chapter in my life. I'm a firm believer of no door ever closing w/out another one opening, and I have faith that I am where I am meant to be at every moment in my day. I came to New Orleans for a reason and it is with another reason (the overall deep understanding of which has yet to be realized) that I return to Atlanta. I am very excited about my new position and am eager to dive in and start becoming even more stressed out trying to learn a new role! My new condo in Atlanta is beautiful and very close to the office. Aside from not having a view or covered parking, it has everything I need. I've made a conscientious effort to secure as much "New Orleans" stuff as I can to decorate the new place, so visitors be warned: there will be LOTS of fleur de lis! If you don't like it, you can leave.

In conclusion, a friend of mine here in New Orleans had some very wise, but simple, comforting words to help sustain me: "Don't cry or fret about having to leave. New Orleans isn't going ANYWHERE. If Katrina and BP couldn't take us out, we'll still be standing when you're ready to move back. "

Ce qui ne te tue pas, te rend plus fort
(What doesn't kill you makes you stronger)